Dad’s Car

This went from poem, to comparative paper on music, back to mushy nostalgic poem. With that being said, if I were to ever read this out loud, I would sing the song parts.

Whenever I think of
Long drives in the car
With my dad,
As a kid.

I think of the smell of
New, clean car.
A fresh contrast, literally
To the rotting chicken finger smelling car
I so often rode in otherwise.

I think of
Joan Armatrading, Steely Dan, and Norah Jones
I grew up to the sounds of
“Show Some Emotion,” “The Things I Miss the Most,” and “Come Away With Me.”

“Show Some Emotion”
Ironically was Joan’s song that stuck with me
Like paper on glue,
I carried that song around and years later
Alone in my apartment would listen to it.
Hoping it would bring me solace,
Hoping it would flourish happy memories,
And teach me how to show my emotions.

I played this song on repeat,
“light up if you’re feeling happy;
But if it’s bad then let those tears roll down.”
Why can’t I do that?
Why wasn’t I taught it’s okay to feel sad?
Why do I feel guilt for every positive thought?
Why do I need to be flat?

There’s comfort without emotions,
You can float in the ocean without having to worry about the tide.
Being flat allows you to be unnoticed.
It also separates you from the wonderful and the horrible
It limits your ability to experience life.

When Donald Fagen sings “The Things I Miss the Most,”
He sings about “the talk” and having somebody to trust.
He continues to list things he misses and
How at first he would “lie on the couch till supper time,”
But as the song ends he sings,
“I’m learning how to meditate,
So far so good.”

Where am I going wrong?
I think about the things I miss the most
My family
My friends.
And for some reason,
I can’t transition from the couch to meditation.
I have no balance or purpose.
I feel lost.

I am stuck in a flat emotionless state.
And only the smooth voice of Norah Jones
Can take me away.
She sings:
“I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won’t you try to come”

And so I try.
I try so hard,
To find someone to walk with
To talk with
To miss
To express emotion.

I want to go back to those days,
Where sitting in my dad’s car was a treat.
Where every moment with him was an escape.
Where I could live in the moment
And not think about the things that I missed
And show him how happy I was
Just to be with him.

cdk

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s