Cool Girl – SUBMISSION

This post was submitted anonymously and it really speaks to the culture of today and how people see one another. Props to you anon. keep sharing. ❤

Cool Girl.
Cool girl is the new nice boy.
Girls don’t want to fuck a nice boy.
Boys only want to fuck a cool girl.
Is she a slut?
Maybe.
But she wouldn’t be called one.
Maybe interesting.
Maybe confusing.
Maybe just “fun.”
Does she retain some respect?
Potentially.
For being quick.
For being aware.
For being smart.
Because she’s cool.
Because generally, she keeps it together.
Or pretends to.
Because when she loses it, lets it slip, has feelings, she can display later some rational perspective, an upfront, yet scattered apology, sugar coated with self-deprecation, which still pangs with the underlying knowledge of her reality.
That she’s supposed to be the cool girl.

That despite waking up next to someone.
Someone she knows.
Someone she trusts.
She is, at the core of her being,
Still entirely alone.
And in her world emptiness breeds destruction.
And she never knows how destruction will choose to dress itself on any given day.
But, she’s cool, so they can’t know.
Wouldn’t know.
Because as she lays in bed, wondering if he’s up, hoping he doesn’t wake from how restless she is, all she can think is whether she’s allowed to curl up closer, choose a shoulder, trace her fingers in paths around his chest…or is that beyond the scope of appropriate falsified intimacy?
And worse, skipping out early may draw attention.
And she can’t handle entering that crucifying grey area of affection.
So she’ll stay a while longer.
Thinking maybe they have sex in the morning.
For a fleeting moment of reassurance
That she may maintain her façade.
Or just play the dangerous game of further feeling.
But for now she’s okay.
Because she can play the cool girl.
And pray to god she’ll never be the crazy bitch

-Anonymous

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