I slept for the first time in four days
And when I woke up this morning
My mattress was covering my door
And there was blood on the wooden panels.
An ‘x’ was etched poorly on my stomach
And defeat and exhaust enveloped me.
I sat on my boxspring.
And saw laundry sprawled across the floor
And newspapers covering the walls.
I saw foil sitting on my window sill.
And I slowly remember
And the fear comes back.
And I see him in the corner of the room.
Gradually coming towards me.
And I know it’ll end soon.
So I reach for the knife
To protect myself,
And I need to cover the windows so no one can see.
I won’t let him win.
I won’t let him kill me.
I won’t let him hurt anybody.
And I grip the knife tighter
So that I can fight him off.
And then I will clean up.
I will take a shower for the first time in days
And I will rest.