The First Time I Rode in a Real Cop Car

The first time I rode in a real cop car
The officer took my backpack
Held my head to the car
My arms behind my back
And shoved me into the backseat.

Having never done it before
I unexpectedly fell
On the harshly cold
Uncushioned
Backseat.

I shivered in the winter’s cold
I shivered because I was afraid.
I didn’t do anything wrong.
I was sick.
I was sick.
I was sick.

The first time I rode in a real cop car
The PO driving turned around
He glanced at me and smiled
He chuckled
And he asked,
“So what’s wrong with you?”

“I have Bipolar Disorder,” I said
And he turned back to the wheel..
“Guess those meds aren’t workin’ for you, huh?”
And I thought,
Why the fuck is he talking to me.
He has no fucking etiquette.

I felt shame and anger
And fear.
Because these were not kind,
Caring cops.
I swear they exist,
But these were not them.

So we rode silently to the hospital,
Where, again, he held me to the car
And this time uncuffed me.
We walked into the ER
And he left me there standing
Alone and scared.

-cdk

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