when night falls at 6:30 pm

night at 6:30
today it is early and
will last forever.


No such thing as too much therapy… (shared from Discussing Dissociation)

Waterfalls are a beautiful metaphor for healing journeys. Are you feeling highly triggered right now? Is this a tough time of year for you? Is your system struggling, feeling dark, chaotic, and separated? Are you experiencing memories, flashbacks, nightmares, and other PTSD symptoms? For the dissociative survivor, the process of healing from severe and…

via 10 Steps for Doing Healing Work with Your DID System — Discussing Dissociation

When dysphoria stops you from living life

I was invited to a formal for my old softball team.
And the expected dress is clearly: Formal.

I haven’t gotten surgery yet,
I’ve made consultations but I’m not there yet.
And I have found that I’m in that awkward stage
where I don’t have the “formal” clothes that would make me comfortable.

I kinda want to go to the formal and see old pals.
I kinda don’t because I’ve changed so much…
I’m mostly afraid though because I don’t want to wear a dress.
I want to wear a suit.
I want a nice button down and a tie.
I want nice shoes and pants.
Maybe a vest.

Not that I don’t like wearing dresses sometimes I do.
I just don’t want to in this moment.
Genderqueer problems. I don’t know who or what I am,
I don’t fit in the black and white definition of gender.
I can’t wait until I can redo my wardrobe,
and get rid of the “women’s professional clothes.”
Replace them with clothing that makes me comfortable
and shows who I am.

I want to go to the formal,
and yet I’m afraid because I don’t want to be fake.
and I don’t have the clothes to feel real
And what if they don’t accept it?

And how do I explain that,
I still like dresses or skirts or whatever?
i just feel less comfortable, less myself.
My stomach has been dropping since I was invited.

Replace Fuck Bush with Fuck Trump: “Call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead”

“so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, i’ll be your friend

shysters live from scheme to scheme and my 4th quarter pipe dreams
are seeming more and more worth fighting for
so i’ll curate some situations, make my job a big vacation
my war paint is sharpie ink and i’ll show you how much my shit stinks
and ask you what you think because your thoughts and words are powerful
they think we’re disposable, well both my thumbs opposable
are spelled out on a double word and triple letter score”